Power

With the greatest of power, comes even greater responsibilities. Why though?.. Because power is merely an illusion. It is our desire to yield our weaknesses, it exercises our ego's. The real fact is that all you truly hold when you hold power is all the rope you'll ever need to hang yourself.

"The attempt to combine wisdom, and power has only rarely been successfull, and then only for a short while"- Einstein

Secrets

Secrets.. some can boost us up, and give us strength, others will exhaust us, and rob our energy. Some of our secrets we long to share but we can't. We fear the consequences will be too dire, or maybe the secret isn't ours to tell...

I'm not mad at you. Before might I have been? Possibly.. But now if I say anything then I'm a hypocrite. Secrets... the big ones: They're hard to live with, and they're hard to keep. They're very difficult to resist digging into once we know they're there.

So how can I be disappointed in you, when I find myself struggling with the same thing?

Proud To Get A Pat On The Back

It feels like only yesterday by Dad took me to my first day of practice as a student nurse, that's why it's hard to believe that today, four years on, I am finished my practice.

Many emotions actually ran thorugh my mind today. I had thought all week how excited and happy I would be for it to be over, but as I left today I couldn't help but feel a little nostalgic.

For some today will seem no different to any other day. No, I am not quite finished my degree, or ready to graduate, but one big chapter of my life has closed. As I left the hospital today and cycled home I couldn't help but think of all the people who got me this far, whether financially or emotionally, without whom this bump in my life would have definitely been Mount Everest. So to them, and you know who you all are, Thank You <3

After receiving many lovely messages, two definitely stand out to me. Both of my parents messaged me to tell me how proud they are of me for coming this far. And for the first time in my life I am confident to say "I am proud of myself", and this is one of the most wonderful feelings in the world. In these last three and a half years I have achieved much more then I ever believed I could.

From here the only way is up, of that I am determind. This star will always shoot for the moon, and if I fail then I will still be proud to say I was a shooting star, not just one that twinkles and dwindles out.

"How often in life we complete a task that was beyond the capability of the person we were when we started it"- Robert Brault

The Crowd

Have you ever felt at home in a crowd? Like you were part of something bigger? And you felt this amazing energy that happens when people come together. How despite the superficial differences, you know that deep down inside we're all the same. We have the same secret needs, and the same wild dreams. We walk around thinking our secret joy, or secret pain, is so unique, when really we all just want the same things: to be happy... to be safe... to be loved...

Fact Of The Day

The term 'falling in love' is apparently mainly used in Western society to describe the process of moving from a feeling of neutrality towards a person to one of love. The use of the term "fall" implies that the process is in some way inevitable, uncontrollable, risky, and irreversible.

So 'falling in love'... its supposed to hurt! and we're fairly warned in the title! If it doesn't hurt then you probably never fell in the first place! <3

Times For Changes?...

"Change. Sometimes it sneaks up on you. Sometimes it hits you over the head. And sometimes you turn a corner, only to find you're different in some small way, and the world doesn't look quite like it used to. So, where do I go from here? No idea. And for the first time, I feel like that's a good thing."

As a good friend recently told me 'change is a good thing'... I just hope he turns out to be right

Friendship...

Friendship: it begins when two people choose each other, but what happens when we outgrow the choice? When little by little, our paths diverge, our needs change, and one day we wake up and realize that we need to choose something different....

Friendship is often like a good pair of shoes, we may not always need it but when we find a pair that fits really well that's all that matters. It's the people we choose to surround ourselves with that matters most. As time goes on, the sole on these shoes can wear down, or become thin, I guess it's just up to ourselves if we wish to have them re-soled.

The greatest of friendships will never be outgrown, because at heart you remain kids together! <3

"Honest Questions"

Can you see the honest questions in my heart this hour?

I'm opening like a flower,

To the rain,

And do you know the silent sorrows of a never ending journey through the pain?

Do you see a brighter day for me?

Do you wonder whats in store for me?

The cure for me, the way?

Don't look down, you'll see the tears I've cried,

The lives I've lived, and deaths I've died.

Would you die them too?

And all for me?

 You say....

"I will pour water down upon a thirsty firey land,

And streams will flow, from the dust of your bruised and broken soul,

And you will grow like the grass upon the fertile plains of visions by the streams of living water,

You will grow."

Do you know the story from the start?

And do you know me, like you've always told me?

Do you see, the whispers in my heart against your kindness?

Its my eternal blindness

Do you see?...

You say...

"I will pour water down upon the thirsty barron land,

And streams will flow, from the dust of your bruised and broken soul.

You will grow like the grass upon the fertile plains of visions by the streams of living water.

You will grow.

You will grow

A Simple Fact

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us most. We ask ourselves: 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be?

Growing Wings

She thought he was perfect,

He made her laugh, he made her strong,

He made her happy, he made her feel safe,

He made her.

But slowly she learned that bit by bit he had torn her apart,

He broke her until she was nothing,

She turned to jelly, and he left her in pieces.

Slowly over time she strengthen to the form of dough,

Gradually her surroundings helped her mould into a shadow of her former self,

She would be anything they wanted, because she no longer knew who else to be.

Then he came, he was different,

He taught her how to be brave, and when she thought she couldn’t do something he showed her that she could,

He made her wise, he encouraged her,

He may not always catch her when she fell, but he always helped her up when she did,

Before she knew it she was something again, she was someone.

He taught her that we can’t always hold our most precious things close to our heart, but she knew if these precious things remain in our heart then they are always with us.

Sometimes our most beautiful worthwhile lessons come in the most heart aching-filled ways.

But if you can walk away a little better, wiser, or even stronger, then not all is lost.

Failure is not a dead-end, it's just a detour....

After a serious case of bloggers block I'm finally back! :)

Been too busy for words lately, and clearly too busy for thoughts... But after some much needed R 'n R (rest and relaxation, not rock and rock unfortunatley) my head is finally clear enough to start again.

I came close to closing the blogging account because it felt like time to give up, and then I remembered something that made me change my mind...

"Failure lies not in falling down, but in not getting back up again"

So for now I will keep trucking, and continue looking for my latest inspirations! :) I'm not giving up, I just need to remember...

 

"In the midst of difficulty lies opportunity"-Einstein

One Day At A Time

Many people asked me this month when I would leave Finland, when I would finish my degree, and what my plans for the future are?..... For the most of this, I don't have the answers, but one thing I am sure of is I will achieve a nursing degree :)

I never would have guessed this time last year, when I moved to Finland on exchange, that I would stay this long. Something kept me here! I decided to take a chance!

I don't regret any decision I have made, they have molded me, and made me who I am today.

Of course there are days I wonder what I'm doing, or why I stayed, but I have faith in myself that I've made the right decision, with regards my life, so far. I'm not one for believing too much in God, but I do believe my fate hasn't steered me wrong so far!

The important thing to remember is; even when you give up on your faith ("having confidence/trust, or belief in something better than what you're experiencing), trust that you're fate ("a predetermined path, a destiny, something that unavoidably defalls you") is taking you somewhere good.

Often, being so far away can be a struggle, but I like to think that whoever is up there must think I'm an awful strong person, or else why would they test me with these everyday tasks ;)

So for now, I power on, tick-tocking for today. I don't always have the answers as to why I'm still in Finland, or where I'll be in a year, but who does. I'm here for today, I don't need to think about tomorrow just yet!

"Life is not about the destination, it's about the journey".

Self Acceptance...

It’s been too long since I’ve last blogged! After reading over some old college assignments I got some inspiration today :)

Self acceptance is said to be a state where we examine our achievements, weaknesses, strengths, feelings, and behaviour! It is a never ending process, and is a major prerequisite for all our relationships, and communications. This is mainly because self acceptance is said to reduce our need for others approval, and often craving this approval can cripple us from truly being ourselves- “When I loved myself enough, others grew to love me too.”

We don’t need to always act in a way that people will approve of, or in a way they would behave themselves. We are unique!  The people who love us, will love all of us, not just parts! 

It’s ok to sometimes be quirky, silly, ‘air-heady’, angry, sad, agreeable, argumentative, or whatever you feel in that moment. These emotions are the colours that paint the picture of our ‘self’!

Don’t ever change for anyone! Accept you!

One of the quotes I like to remember daily is:

“You're only given a little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it.”- Robin Williams

Beauty In Pain

"I guess I could be pretty pissed off about what happened to me, but it's hard to stay mad when there's so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I feel like I'm seeing it all at once, and it's too much. My heart fills up like a balloon that's about to burst. And then I remember to relax, and stop trying to hold on to it. And then it flows through me like rain, and I can't feel anything but gratitude, for every single moment of my stupid, little life. You have no idea what I'm talking about, I'm sure. But don't worry. You will someday."

Stop trying to hold onto your fears, anger, and anguish. If instead, we can learn, or see beauty in our pain, or hurt, then at least we've learned something, and it wasn't a loss in the end, it was a gain.

At the end of the day, nothing worth achieving is ever easy. That's the paradox with matters of the heart, love and pain go hand in hand.

One of the most beautiful songs expressing a paradox is 'Feeling Good'...

Live A Little

All around us we constantly hear the phrases 'be sensible', or 'behave yourself'... Sensible has been defined as 'possessing or displaying prudence'. Prudence itself is 'having caution with regard practical matters'. Despite this being a wonderful ideology, I personally find this an impossible way to live.

 Of course I belief in these concepts in the larger sense of behaving in a way that doesn't let yourself, your family, or your friends down. To be cautious all the time would be a life unlived. It's our mistakes that often mold who we become. If we always take the easy path of caution, how can we learn what struggle is about? Or if we always sheild ourselves from pain, how can we know what to expect when we do fall?

Sometimes throwing caution to the wind, and being spontaneous is just what the soul needs. 

"Humanity has advanced, when is has advanced, not because it has been sober, responsible, and cautious, but because it has been playful, rebellious, and immature"

 -Tom Robbins

We're All In The Gutter...

I think it's fair to say we've all had shitty days in our lives. Some of us are unfortunate enough to have rendezvoused with a few more then we would care to remember. 

When life smacks us in the face with days like this we have two options: 

1) Let it take hold of our day/week/month, and allow it to suck the happy moments away
Or
2) Chalk it up to a bad day, slap a smile on our faces, and keep trucking

Neither of these options are easy when you're feeling down in the dumps, but remember; 'it takes 17 muscles to smile, and 42 muscles to frown'. So unless you're looking for a good face work-out I feel it can be easier to opt for smiling :)
 
In life it is not the cards we are dealt, but how we play them! If it wasn't for these 'shitty' days, our good days wouldn't feel so great. You can't appreciate the calm without a storm every now and again.

It's your approach towards these obstacles that makes the difference. Just remember, as a wise Irish man said:
"We're all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." - Oscar Wilde

People Who Touch Our Hearts

They say you can't choose your family, but you can choose your friends... This may be true, but there is no other family in the world I would swap mine for. That is why I dedicate todays blog to them! :)

Something I learned about family is no matter how bad you screw up they never cut you away, because 'the people who care about your screw ups don't matter, and the people who matter won't care about your screw ups'

In life there are very few people who can see you for who you really are, and still love you, it is not a prerequisite for family members to have this acceptance. I consider myself very lucky to be blessed with such an amazing, open, loving family. They always make me smile, and laugh, and know when I need a hug, and when I need to be left alone. They make me strong by being four of the strongest people I know. I love each of them uniquely, and I always will.

You don't choose your family. They are God's gift to you, as you are to them." 
-Desmond Tutu

 "People come into your life and people go. But it's comforting to know the ones you love are always in your heart. And if you're very lucky, a plane ride away."

How We Become Who We Are

I heard the nicest story today. It was told by native Americans of the Cheokee tribe:

A child asked his Grandfather how we become who we are in the future, and this is how the story went.

 

 

Grandfather- "When we are born a great fight begins within each of us. It is between two wolves. The first wolf is filled with greed, anger, gulit, sorrow, evil, and ego. The second wolf is filled with love, hope, good, joy, will, truth, and faith."

The little boy then asked his Grandfather, "Who wins this fight?". The Grandfather simply replied: "The one you feed".

I thought this was a beautiful message to portray to a child. Everyone is born with good, and bad. It is we ourselves who decide our fate. There really is no pre-decision on who will be, good or bad, we decide this ourselves. It's up to us which wolf we decide to feed.

Which wolf do you feed?

There is a difference between bad people, and people who make bad decisions...

Games....

After watching a TV show today I started thinking about all these mind games people play when dating, and in relationships. Things like 'I'll wait three days before contacting him/her' after a good date, or 'I'll play hard-to-get'!

I started thinking how mind games have absolutely no benefit to a relationship, and eventually in the end will destroy it. Leaving someone waiting is manipulation of someones emotions, and is a sign of a hypocrite. They wish to get closer, and see you again, but they make you wait. Mind games can also be lack in self-confidence because they are not willing to take a chance as themself, they need games to get by.

Who decides on the 'rules' for these games anyway?... When games often blow up in peoples faces they say "Don't hate the player, hate the game", or "Don't play games with someone who makes the rules"!

When did honesty and trust loose their places as priority in dating, and relationships? Getting to know someone can be hard enough without taking all this into play as well!

Within this TV show I watched they stated 'The cardinal rule of dating is never like someone more then they like you'. In my opinion, if this is your motto then you are settling for second best, and I'm quite sure in the rest of your life, settling for second best is not one of your aims.

If we abide by any rules they should be:
Give what you would like to get from a relationship (not a sexual innuendo): respect, loyalty, affection...
Put a price on yourself: if you don't respect yourself, then no-one else will either
Refrain from lies, and games

"You Come To Love Not By Finding The Perfect Person, But By Seeing An Imperfect Person Perfectly"- Sam Keen

The Luck Of The Irish Vs Sisu...

After hearing these phrases a few times this week I decided to try compare them... Sisu is described as "strength of will, determination, perseverance, and acting rationally in the face of adversity", and "having guts"... Hmmm! However the luck of the Irish is described in several different ways. The Irish were originally considered lucky because "they seem to be able to land on their feet when bad circumstances occur." Someone also said that the luck of the Irish is because "Irish people have come through such overwhelming adversity and have come out on top, and kicking! It must be luck".

So these two concept aren't too far away from eachother, they are both coined on a strong will to be determined.

The Luck of the Irish has now spread further, and people generally belief we are slightly luckier ;) Well then there's definitely something wrong with my Irish 'lucky' gene! No harm in hoping though.

I will go as far to say that we are a very resilient race, I will agree that much. To quote a humerous stereotype a man said to me yesterday... "God invented whiskey to keep the Irish from ruling the world".

Not So 'Nicey Icey'

As the recent temperatures in Vasa have increased, and after our wonderfully plentiful rain yesterday the whole town has now turned into an oversized ice-rink. Not so fun!! Especially when I completely creamed myself on the way to the shop. Replaying the event in my head I'm laughing but at the time it hurt like hell, and and I'm sure the people watching got a good kick out of it too! ;) That's definitely going to leave a mark...

I have new found sympathy for the man on the RTE news.

"Where Words Fail, Music Speaks"

Not many things beat wandering home on a nice fresh evening from college, especially when it's a Friday. With a little music the walk is always a completely different experience. Music envokes so many different emotions, and energys within each of us. No matter what our background, ethnicity, status, or culture, everyone, in one form or another,has appreciation and love for music. 

We feel it in our very being. When we close our eyes we can see it paint a picture, and it takes shape and moves poetically to the rhythm, and beat. 

Without music we would be deprived. It often encourages us to speak on emotions and thoughts we would otherwise ignore. 

The most important lesson to acknowledge about its beauty is (in the intuitive words of Hans Christian Anderson) "Where Words Fail, Music Speaks"  

This is one of my personal favourite. An ever beautiful piano piece

Burning The Candle Both Ends

Definition: To live at a hectic pace.
"Life that is lived frenetically and unsustainably - working or enjoying oneself late into the night only to begin again early the next day. Implying life lived with reckless waste."

Today definitely fits this description! After a weekend of goodbyes to Marie and Diana, followed by a week of college, and a night out with Josefin and Ruth last night I am officially wiped! Time for this cookie to get some much needed rest and relaxation!

Time spent with oneself, is time spent wisely! ;)

Mysteries

After recieving an empty envelope from England yesterday it got me to thinking about the little mysteries of our everyday lives.... I got wondering about who would be writing to me from England, it occupied my mind for hours. Thats the thing about the little mysteries in our lives, whether its an empty envelope, or 'will he/se call?', or 'how will I do in my test?', or 'will I get that job?', these little things keep us ticking from day-to-day! Maybe sometimes not knowing is the best part. The element of unpredictability is so often the spice of life! Without whos, maybes, and perhaps there is no room for spontaneity.. ;)

"Questions are guaranteed in life... Answers aren't"

Laughter Is The Best Medicine

I thought a lot today about laughter, and how good it feels! :) It came to me after I caught myself waving at an empty taxi today that had a picture of a man on the back window waving. I thought it was a person and when I realised I was waving at a sticker I couldn't stop laughing to myself! There is nothing better in life then a good giggle, and it's even better if you've someone to share it with! Laugh hard, and often...

Changes...

Today was a lovely reminder of how the weather will be. In these cold months we need something to keep us warm! Brighter, warmer spells awaken our happy thoughts in the knowledge that something better is coming soon! SPRING!!! Before we know it will be upon us :) Sometimes we forget in these dark months that something beautiful lies ahead, and it's worth the wait!

Changing Leaves

The changing leaves of autumn colored brightly red and gold,
Also bring a warning of the coming winter cold.
As the wind is changing from the milder summer breeze,
You can feel the difference as it echoes through the trees.

As I shuffle down the path leading through the park,
As the days grow shorter now and soon it will be dark.
I realize that life is like the seasons we live through,
Life is like the changing seasons always changing too.

Basking in the warmth of life in the summer sun,
Never giving thought to when these summer days are done.
But before we realize the cold wind starts to blow,
And our basking summer sun turns colder with the snow.

Only then we realize that life has changed so fast,
Only then we realize that nothing ever lasts.
Life goes through the seasons as the years accumulate,
Many times we long for summer when it is too late.

Singletini

Defined as:
1. A curious type of female typically found living in urban settings; possessing an unusual, some would say deathly, fear of growing up.
2. One who is single; having experienced her fair share of martini hangovers and painfully awkward what's-your-name-again conversations that tend to occur in the wee morning hours.
After reading an amazing book 'Singletini', I got to thinking about many aspects of the singletini... Some of these singletinis have the most glamorous jobs, and genuinely don't need men..
Within this book the singletinis work as 'wingwomen', basically entailing they go out to bars with men they don't know and try hook these men up with women. They get paid €20 an hour with all the drinks they want paid for the night!
Not too shabby a job eh?.... Who knows, it could be my next big calling! With lower prices of course ;)

Popping The 'Blog' Cherry

Finally blogging... with help from Anna. Now its time for some toasting to the beggining of some good times ;)
Tonight is also goodbye to Marie and Diana so some much needed carnage can be expected... Watch this space...